WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
