Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
