Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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