i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
