Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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