Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
