Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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