I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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