Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize