all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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