i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize