Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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