It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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