Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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