1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
