i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
