I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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