Your tits are I can't wait for
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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