Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
