it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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