Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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