I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
