hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
