There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
MIDGETS
????
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
