OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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