The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
