So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
