i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
