i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
