last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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