You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
