the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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