youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
