Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
