"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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