Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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