It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
