she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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