I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
