I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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