Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
