You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
