ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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