Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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