Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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