Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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