I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
