I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
