there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
