Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
