never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
