I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
