i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
