Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Couch. On fire.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
