Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
