the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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