So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
