its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
