32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize