DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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