I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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