in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
